Can You Please Help the GOP Find Their Missing Informants?!

Dude, Where’s my Informant?

House GOP Oversight Committee Chair James Comer was all set to bring down President Joe Biden. But then something happened: He lost his key informant(s) who allegedly were going to testify firsthand that Biden—as Vice President under President Obama—was actually the one shaping Obama’s policies and he was doing it all because he was being bribed.  (I know, the whole thing is BS but let’s have some fun with the GOP idiocy for a moment, shall we?!)

Things were already not going well for Comer before the latest revelation.  Just last week, Fox News host Steve Doocy slammed Comer to his face stating, “You don't actually have any facts to that point” that Biden was involved in any wrongdoing.  Doocy even added, “There's no evidence that Joe Biden did anything illegally."

Comer, though, was not going to let facts stand in his way—after all, he is a Republican. That is when Comer doubled down on the claims Biden was personally involved by touting that he has been “talking with the informants that we have — some of the former Biden associates that nobody's heard from yet — we know that Joe Biden was actively involved.”

So Comer was finally going to show America the smoking gun evidence to bring Biden down courtesy of some key informants.  But things then got even worse for Comer.

On Sunday, Fox News host Maria Bartiromo asked Comer about these key people who he claimed could make the case against President Biden: “You also spoke with an informant who gave you all of this information," adding, "Where is that informant today? Where are these whistleblowers?"

Comer responded—while literally barely containing laughter—"Well, unfortunately, we can't track down the informant. We’re hopeful that the informant is still there." Comer then added like a kid coming up with a cover story for not doing his homework: “The whistleblower knows the informant. The whistleblower is very credible.”  

That is when “journalist” Bartiromo interjected, invoking the faux passion she had when peddling Trump’s 2020 election lies: “Hold on a second, Congressman. Did you just say that the whistleblower or the informant is now missing?” To which Comer responded, "Well, we're hopeful that we can find the informant,” adding, "Remember, these informants are kind of in the spy business, so they don't make a habit of being seen a lot or being high profile or anything like that."

This now sounds like it came from Abbott and Costello’s famous ‘Who’s on First’ comedy routine:

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.

Abbott: No. What is on second base.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Could Comer’s informant be “Who” or maybe “What”?!

Okay, let’s stop there. Perhaps we can help Comer. Where could this informant be? Maybe the informant is hiding with Donald Trump’s “phenomenal” healthcare plan that he promised over a dozen times when in the White House but never produced. Maybe it’s where the evidence of 2020 election fraud is being stored by Trump and his female version, Kari Lake, who even on Tuesday claimed the GOP primary in Kentucky was “corrupt” because she knew her beloved election denying candidate for Secretary of State was about to get trounced—and he was. 

Back to Comer on Fox Sunday.  The Kentucky Rep. then told Bartiromo that it was not just the all-important informant they are having problems connecting with but almost all of the key “witnesses.” Comer explained that “nine of the ten people that we’ve identified that have very good knowledge with respect to the Bidens, they’re one of three things: They’re either currently in court, they’re currently in jail, or they’re currently missing.”

What the actual F?!  Nine of ten key witnesses are missing or unreachable?!

Adding to the comedy is that Comer’s vile “partner in lies,” Marjorie Taylor Greene, appeared Monday on Steve “convicted criminal” Bannon’s show where she (suspiciously) repeated almost word for word what Comer said when asked about the missing people who were supposed to make the case against Biden. After stating that one whistleblower was safe, the Queen of Hate added, “Other whistleblowers, yes, they are missing. They’re either in court, they’re in jail, or we cannot talk with them at this time because they can’t be found.”

Maybe these two should pray to St. Anthony, one of my late mother’s favorite Saints, who was known for helping people find lost items. The prayer goes, “Tony, Tony look around, something is lost and must be found.” Perhaps if these two GOP Reps said that enough, an informant would appear.

Or could it be that all of this is simply a movie pitch for a new version of the 2000 movie, “Dude’s, Where My Car?” But in this version, Comer teams up with MTG to find the informant in a mad cap comedic adventure, “Dude, Where’s our Whistleblowers?!”

Perhaps Comer and Greene could enlist My Pillow/election denying peddler Mike Lindell to offer another $5 million dollar reward for tips on where these informants are located—the same way he offered $5 million to anyone who could poke holes in his 2020 election lies.  Then again, since Lindell was recently ordered after arbitration to pay $5 million to a person who did prove Lindell’s election claims were BS, Lindell may want to sit this one out.

If you are wondering if it is common to lose whistleblowers, attorney Mark Zaid who has long represented intelligence community whistleblowers answered that for us. Zaid tweeted in response to the news: “I've represented #whistleblowers, especially within Intelligence Community (spies), for more than 25 years. Strange, I've never lost one.”

But still the lack of any evidence won’t stop Comer, MTG or even some Fox News hosts from peddling lies. In fact, Fox News’s Jess Waters on his show Monday night stated as fact that Biden was taking bribes, with his comment “Barack Obama’s vice president was taking foreign bribes right under his nose.”

How much fun must it be to be a Republican where facts don’t matter?! You can just believe whatever you want. It’s like Peter Pan telling Wendy that he could take her to a place “where dreams are born,” a place where “you'll have a treasure” and “never, never grow old.” And to get there, all you have to do is “close your eyes tight” and see it—and before you know it, you will be in “Never Never Land.”

Well to the GOP, as we saw after the 2020 election, they have closed their eyes, grabbed Peter Pan’s arm and are now living in “Never Never land”--where dreams come true and facts never, never matter.

The reality is we don’t call out the GOP’s lies and hypocrisy because it will shame them into changing their behavior. It’s impossible to shame the shameless. But we do it so we remain tethered to reality. After all, we can’t all be Peter Pan!

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